Alright, today is going to be a little different style of blog, see my friend, Mr. Nice Guy, and I were e-mail the other day concerning a viewer of our blogs, and have asked for both our help. She wanted advice on two issues, and for today and probably tomorrow, we will be answering them. For the sake of privacy, we are to refrain from using names, or any other information not concerning the direct conflict of this issue.
The first part of the e-mail explained "See my problem is, I like this guy a lot, he is a really good friend of mine, and I think he is starting to drop me hints that he likes me. One issue, his best friend is also my ex. My ex and I don’t see eye to eye, at all! Even when I try and come over to talk to this guy, we start to fight, and this guy always gets me away from it. So I don’t want my ex getting in the way of us, and I don’t know to do."
Wow, now Mr. Nice Guy and I have both discussed this topic today, and this is some of the things we concluded on this issue. Now our blogs aren't going to be the same, maybe some ideas the same but not identical.
For starters, lets look at the main issue, there is only an imaginary wall standing in your way from getting this guy. Now, I'm not saying that the ex in this situation is stopping you completely, I believe it is your feelings stopping you. Now I look at this, and I see more compassion than what is written, it is part of deconstruction, where you take out parts and dissect them to find inner meaning(s) (for an F.Y.I). Now lets look at this, what is stopping you really, sure you fight with your ex, but why not still ask him out, its not like if one feels that strongly about one, that they can't work out a compromise. But fear of this, is what I can see being the greatest factor. You may be more then willing to tell off your ex, but the real question, are you afraid of what might come if you were to start dating him. You would most likely see your ex more often, possibly fight constantly, and you understanding what this may do to your relationship, so in which you shy away from asking him, and if he is dropping hints, its because he doesn't want to see his friend to know, or maybe he is scared and want you to make the first move. As it is said Mr. Nice Guy's blog, a "Nice Guy" is sometimes shy, and him breaking up those fights are a sign of his courage. (Thank you Mr. Nice Guy for that last bit lol)
I think you are very smart and very nice, and my advice and theory, "Ask him out, but if you can't do this discreetly, get your friend to talk to your ex, so there is little conflict. Get him to understand that the feelings you two share are strong, and he needs to except this. And if he doesn't then tell him that it really isn't any of his concern, whether he likes it or not." Cause really you aren't trying to steal a friend from him, you aren't stepping on his path, so there is no concern for him. In fact it may actually work out for the best, it may actually stop the fighting if he understand and sees that his friend does feel that way about someone, most guys, Nice and Typical can and will see that for a really good friend and know to stay out of his business and not to mess with his girl. Trust me it may not work, in my case I have a couple of situations where I am really good friends with a guy, and also really good friends with his ex. Though both know this and even though they may not like it or each other, they see that I am good friends with both, and they don't question it or bring up the subject.
I thank you for the e-mail, and will answer part two probably tomorrow, and I hope this helps and that others can take from this what they can with their own situations called life. Remember, for any questions or concerns or even questions or ideas you want to see answered, comment bellow or e-mail me at johnysimps@hotmail.com (this will be changing tomorrow). And hey remember, its just a thought.
Teen Theory
Ps. Since I mentioned him again, this is a link to Mr. Nice Guy, check out his point of view on this topic and more on his blog site at http://theniceguyadyingbreed.blogspot.com/
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